The power of giving your time
Lee la historia en español aquí.
“I stop and do nothing. Nothing happens. I am thinking about nothing. I listen to the passing of time. This is time, familiar and intimate. We are taken by it. The rush of seconds, hours, years that hurls us towards life then drags us towards nothingness … ‘- Carlo Rovelli.
A chill afternoon during fall in London, I was in my room lying on my bed reading some online articles on my laptop. The sounds of the heavy wind passing through my window felt like a ghost desperately calling me for help. Suddenly, my focus was interrupted by a text message. It was a friend asking me to hang out. The message was perfect! I urgently needed to take a break so then I could keep working on my master’s project. After some back-and-forth messages, we decided to go for a drink. I opened the Citymapper app to check how long it would take to get there so I could propose a specific time ( in London you need to be always on time). She agreed with my suggestion. It was time for a shower before going out.
Two hours later, I was next to the ‘little Venice’ canal in a local pub with my friend. The place was packed, filled with more than 20 tables. We took one of the only two available. The music level was good enough to allow people to talk without yelling. Three seconds after we sat and just with one look, we understood it was time for a drink. I noticed she was happy because of her big smile and energy.
Four pints of cold beer later, we changed the light initial conversation to a more meaningful one. We discussed the benefits and downsides of a formal relationship, we devised some strategies to create the ‘perfect’ relationship. We talked about what society wants from us, our parents, our friends and partners and how we live life without a purpose or clear understanding of how we can live a calm and happy life. We argued if having children was a good way to find meaning or just a way of not thinking about ourselves anymore. We discussed sexual orientation and gender identity and how those decisions could impact positively in oneself’s happiness.
We were on half of the last pint when she mentioned some personal problems she was facing, all of a sudden her mood changed. She opened up her heart and told me what were the things she was missing from home. She moved to London only three months ago but loneliness was one of the main factors that stopped her from enjoying daily life. She kept talking about her current situation with more detail until I felt she was relieved, her mood changed again. We moved the conversation to other banal topics like how couples were behaving at that moment in the pub, or what would happen if we just approach random people to talk with, it was fun.
Some minutes later, almost 11 pm, the sound of the bell stormed the room. It was the last call in case someone wishes to buy one more drink. We agreed it was time to leave.
We were headed to the bus station when the rain began to fall. It was a typical movie situation. Hopefully, I had my umbrella with me so we could protect each other from the rain. She softly held my arm and we began to walk quickly. After we noticed the bus was arriving, she gave me a huge hug and a friendly kiss. “Thanks for the lovely night, you really helped me to feel better,” she said.”It was lovely too, take care” I replied. She smiled and got on the bus.
I was left alone, standing near the famous Candem road, partially wet, super happy but especially shocked. To be honest, I just listened and asked her some questions when she explained her problems, I did not even give any detailed advice. So, why was she so graceful with me?
Without an answer, I lead to another bus station to go home. After the bus arrived, I sat on the second deck, I put on my AirPods and played a Latin pop playlist to enjoy my 25 minutes way home. It was in the middle of the journey when I suddenly realized what just happened! I quickly paused the music, my eyes were completely opened, I had a big smile. At that precise moment, I comprehended the power of giving your valuable and finite time to others. Have you?
“Time always exposes what you mean to someone.”- unknown
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